Wednesday, May 19, 2010


Today I'm going to start my day off with "Orange". Not necessarily the fruit, although, we may get into that later, but rather the color. I'm fond of personifying objects in daily life, and while I was driving around yesterday showing houses, I noticed that Orange is kind of a dick. Let me explain:

Orange is that "Hey look at me" douche in the middle of the bar. I mean think about it; if something needs to be seen well, what color is it? Say, for instance, you have a caution sign on the road...Orange. Got some road cones? Orange. What if you have a bus full of kids that you want other drivers to be aware of? Orange. And yes, school buses aren't yellow, they're Orange. Look. Side note: Does this mean the kids riding the shorter white buses aren't as special? (pun intended) What it comes down to is that Orange is sort of full of itself.

Now lets take it a step further. Imagine there is a dude wearing Orange. Not only is he "super awesome" in his own mind, he thinks he's so "super awesome" that everyone around should look and stare at his "super awesomeness". Douche. I think there is only one person in the history of man (if you can call him actually a man) that could pull off wearing Orange: Jesus. But even Jesus wasn't a douche and wore a modest, neutral, brown robe around. (the biblical Hugh Hefner) Although when you're Jesus, you can rock anything.

Even the fruit the Orange is a dick. Try and peel one and not get pissed. The fruit is figuratively telling you "I'm so awesome in here, I'm going to make you work to get in. It ain't going to be easy." Douche fruit.

So if you're wearing a pink shirt with the collar popped, sunglasses at night, spray on tan (Orange?), and drinking Jager Bombs and Heinekens, you might as well hop in an Orange car...Brah...

Later Ya'll,

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The Meaning Of It All

So I'm going to get this whole "blog" thing started with a bang. I'm going to tackle the "what's the meaning of life" questions in one word. Happiness. "What's the meaning of life?" Let's dwell on that questions a little.

The meaning of life can be interpreted in many ways. Some say it's how you're remembered. Some say it's the accomplishments achieved during life. Some might even say it's how many kids you leave behind. I don't believe any of this. I think the meaning of life is to be happy.

Happiness should be the only quest in your life, dear reader. It's achieved differently by different people. Some people achieve happiness by making money, others by creating art. Some achieve happiness through love and family life, others through exuberant luxury. It doesn't matter what makes you happy, it only matters that you strive to achieve it.

I'm a firm believer that we are all very selfish. Everything we do everyday benefits us in someway. Self-satisfaction is also included in this. Let me ask you to do something reader: Name one thing you did today that you didn't benefit from. You can't. You went to work today, but it was probably for the paycheck at the end of the week. You may have done homework and went to class, but it was for the grades and the degree at the end of the year. You may have given a heartfelt gift to one you love, but it was because it made you feel good about yourself. Everything you do in life somehow benefits you. Did you ever think of yourself as this selfish?

This is the basis of my "happiness is the meaning of life" argument. If everything we do is to try and benefit us, don't you think the meaning of our being is to achieve the greatest benefit? I believe so.

So until we meet again, stay happy.

Later Ya'll,

So, I've started a blog...

So, I've started a blog. I know what you're asking yourself, "why did you start a blog, Ryan?" (Ya See? I told you I knew) Well to be completely honest, I have no idea. My great friend Ashley Bedwell has a blog over at that I read regularly and I thought I'd start one of my own.

Now dear reader, this blog isn't really for you. It's not going to try and fit to your needs. It's not trying to be your friend. It's just that guy hanging out in the corner. This blog is more for me. If you like it, great. If you don't, I warned you. This is just another format for me to express my "Useless thoughts, musings, and cognition" other than the Facebooks and Twitters of the internet world. (140 characters just isn't enough) I may post multiple times a day. I may not post for weeks. It's kinda up to me.

I also want to let you know, oh dear dear reader, that the subjects covered in this blog are going to be all over the spectrum. If this blog were a musical artist, it'd be Nine Inch Nails; sometimes slow and peaceful, sometimes extreme and cruel. We'll dwell on some philosophical issues one moment, then we might rant about how bad the White Sox played last night. Again, I warned you.

So that's it. I'm going to try and start this tonight with an actually meaningful post.

Later Ya'll